[TOEFL writing] May 28, 2024

2024. 5. 28. 11:29·English Transcription

Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the number of police officers on the streets.

 

Others argue that other measures, such as better education and job opportunities, are more effective in reducing crime.

 

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 

Model Answer:

 

There is an ongoing debate about the most effective way to reduce crime rates.

 

One school of thought advocates for increasing the number of police officers on the streets, while others argue that improving education and job opportunities is a more sustainable solution.

 

Both perspectives have their merits and potential drawbacks.

 

Proponents of increasing police presence argue that a visible and active police force can act as a deterrent to potential criminals.

Proponents of increasing police presence argue that a visible and active police force can act as a deterrent to potential criminals.

 

The presence of law enforcement officers can make individuals think twice before engaging in illegal activities due to the higher risk of being caught and punished.

The presence of law enforcement officers can make individuals think twice before engaging in illegal activities due to the higher risk of being caught and punished.

The presence of law enforcement officers can make individuals think twice before engaging in illegal activities due to the higher risk of being caught and punished.

The presence of law enforcement officers can make individuals think twice before engaging in illegal activities due to the higher risk of being caught and punished.

 

Additionally, more police officers can respond more quickly to incidents, potentially preventing crimes from escalating.

 

This approach focuses on immediate crime prevention and maintaining public order.

This approach focuses on immediate crime prevention and maintaining public order.

This approach focuses on immediate crime prevention and maintaining public order.

 

On the other hand, those who support improving education and job opportunities believe that addressing the root causes of crime is more effective in the long run.

On the other hand, those who support improving education and job opportunities believe that addressing the root cause of crime is more effective in the long run.

 

Many crimes are committed out of economic necessity or due to a lack of education and opportunities.

Many crimes are committed out of economic necessity or due to a lack of education and opportunities.

 

By providing better education, individuals are more likely to secure stable and well-paying jobs, reducing the temptation to resort to crime.

By providing better education, individuals are more likely to secure stable and well-paying jobs, reducing the temptation to resort to crime.

By providing better education, individuals are more likely to secure stable and sell-paying jobs, reducing the temptation to resort to crime.

 

Moreover, an educated population is more aware of the consequences of criminal behavior and more likely to contribute positively to society.

Moreover, and educated population is more aware of the consequences of criminal behavior and more likely to contribute positively to society.

 

In my opinion, while increasing the number of police officers can provide a short-term solution to crime, it does not address the underlying issues that lead to criminal behavior.

In my opinion, while increasing the number of police officers can provide a short-term solution to crime, it does not address the underlying issues that lead to criminal behavior.

In my opinion, while increasing the number of police officers can provide a short-term solution to crime, it does not address the underlying issues that lead to criminal behavior.

 

Long-term strategies, such as enhancing education and creating job opportunities, are more effective in reducing crime rates sustainably.

 

When individuals have access to quality  education and stable employment, they are less likely to engage in criminal activities.

When individuals have access to quality education and stable employment, they are less likely to engage in criminal activities.

 

Therefore, a balanced approach that includes immediate law enforcement measures along with long-term social and economic reforms is the most effective way to reduce crime.

Therefore, a balanced approach that includes immediate law enforcement measures along with long-term social and economic reforms is the most effective way to reduce crime.

Therefore, a balanced approach that includes immediate law enforcement measeares along with long-term social and economic reforms is the most effective way to reduce crime.

 

 

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Sungyeon Kim
Sungyeon Kim
goldstaryeon@sookmyung.ac.kr
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